My Story

In the 1970′s, I became very ill after a trip I made to London, England.  I had to cut my trip short and fly back home to Colorado because I had become so very, very sick.  I had gone to a clinic in London, and was given a handful of pain killers and told they didn’t know what was wrong.  By the time I got home to Colorado, my lymph nodes in my neck and groin  had swollen to about the size of marbles, I had severe aching, muscle pain and could hardly walk. I was also experiencing excruciating headaches, had extreme fatigue, and barely able to keep my eyes open because of an overwhelming need to sleep.

Back home in Colorado my parents began taking me to every doctor and specialist they could find in the area. We were in hopes of finding a speedy diagnosis and eventually something that would cure me of this illness. However, in the end our hopes would be dashed and our bubble would burst.  We ended up spending many desperate years, and lots of hard-earned cash, looking for the cure to my “mystery disease” never finding the answers.

During my search, some of the doctors I had seen  told me that I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and that there was no cure; others said it was Fibromyalgia, possibly brought on by a virus (possibly EBV, or other type of herpes virus).  I was even told by one doctor that I had Multiple Sclerosis and Rheumatoid Arthritis! However, none of the  “diagnoses” were ever definitive.

During those years, Infectious Diseases Specialists were called in to do their poking and prodding, and still none had any answers. No one knew why I was so desperately ill. I felt like I was just an experiment for all those doctors.  They didn’t know what was really wrong,  so they would attempt to palliate my symptoms using steroids, antivirals, and experimental vaccines (at this time BCG vaccine was experimental in the US). They really did give it their best shot (no pun intended), it just didn’t help.

Over the years I really began to hate going to doctors. I hated all the attention I was given and was growing weary of all my conversations with other people only being about “me” and my “illness”.  I hated that I had become “a disease”.  I only wanted to be left alone to die (which was a very real possibility).

After many months of  seeing too many doctors I was not getting any better, and was actually worse,  even though I was taking all my medications.   Finally, one day, a friend of my mothers suggested that I go see a  different kind of doctor, a Naturopathic Doctor, in Boulder.  She thought that he might be able to help.  Well, this was a long shot, what the heck was a Naturopathic Doctor anyway?  Pure desperation and chronic illness does funny things to your mind.  Even though I was absolutely sick and tired,  and didn’t want to have any more to do with doctors, and just wanted to be left alone to die….  I decided to go see this Naturopathic Doctor in Boulder.

It’s funny (not really), that when you are chronically ill and you have literally tried “everything” in order to get well, and you are absolutely certain that you are NEVER, EVER, EVER, going to go to another doctor again because they don’t help and you’re sick and tired of it  – a crazy thought flashes through your  mind, “What if this is the doctor who will CURE me?”  Well, it is only natural that when you are so very ill you don’t want to miss out on anything that might be the answer you have been searching for.  I believe that this is one of the reasons why so many people end up spending so much of their hard-earned money. They are just hoping that this doctor, or that remedy, or that treatment, will be the answer to their health problem so they can finally get well.  Your mind just tells you “If  I don’t explore it, maybe I will have missed my only chance for getting well.”

Well, as it turned out I was very, very lucky.  This time I had found that special doctor who would start me on my path to healing.  However, he didn’t cure me or have a remedy I could take that would heal me – he showed me the truth about healing and the rest was up to me.

I’ll tell you more in my next blog – stay tuned.

One Response to My Story

  1. Thank you for this post. Your story reminds me so much of my own and hearing yours gives hope.